Earlier in the night, Mike shared personal information about how he and I had an 'unhealthy' relationship. This was based on a mutual friend's observation. Later on in the trip, 'unhealthy' was changed to 'toxic'. I prefer 'toxic' - it's funnier and Chad came up with it. Whenever Chad comes up with something funny - it must be kept. I believe that our toxic relationship is based on all of the bad advice the Mike has given me over the years. I have been totally oblivious to this toxicity, by the way. Mike and I have been through some pretty harrowing circumstances throughout our friendship. The first disturbing image that flashes in my memory was the most physically demanding day in my life. I'll just say stump grinder and leave it at that.
Back to the game, Mike was given three choices - I am cloudy at the first - I think it was Chad, but it may have been Corey; Cameron and Me. I knew exactly what Mike was going to choose - F Chad (duh!), Kill me (to put me out of my misery) and Marry Cameron (again, duh!). To everyone at the Devil's Garden Campsite's surprise, Mike chose to kill Cameron and Marry me. Flattered at first, I had to throw the BS Napkin. Please, Marry me? What dumb fool would choose that? An overweight, sarcastic, depressed, Father of three? Everyone was dumbfounded and in disbelief. Then Mike plead his case and all I remember is that he said I was a good cook. Again flattered, but how can I be sure that Mr. Non-Committal would commit? I would have the satisfaction that the only other option to Marry would be Cameron, but he's dead - Mike Killed him.
I have had a couple of days to think about it, and well Mike, I accept. You will however, have to help out more around the house...
It's ok. Mike knows that I've already taken the necessary steps to come back as Zombie Cameron, so if he kills me, he's still got all three of us around. (duh!)
ReplyDeleteAND he won't have to put up with my crappy cooking, apparently. ha!
ReplyDeleteOk, time to explain here.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, John, was drunk during the entire game. So drunk that he spent the rest of the night puking like a teenage girl who drank too much...
So my choices were Cameron, Dan, and John himself. Now, these 3 people are some of my best friends, so it made for an interesting question. If John had actually been paying attention to my previous answers, he would realize that for each question asked, I always answered who I would kill first. Not "f" or marry. My theory was that it is way harder to kill someone than marry them. Or "f" them. Anyway....
Now, people that know John know this, he loves to believe that the world revolves around him. So the answer of this question (in his mind) is based completely on what I decide to do with HIM. Which is totally incorrect. The answer also doesn't really do much for me...which is easy to understand why...
So I answered the question by asking myself"who would I want to spare from this sick, immature, teenage girls' game?" Well, that answer is Cameron. So I decided I would kill him, and spare him from having to deal with marrying me or "f" ing me.
Next, I decided that I would "f" Dan. Simply because he is the most athletic and probably has the best body. Ha!
Finally, that only left John to marry. Which makes sense, becuase he is a good cook and I know that he makes more money than the other two losers.
It's just funny that John, who thinks the question will be answered about him, can't stand it when it's not about him. Maybe I should have killed him and put him out of his misery afterall.
It's toxic.
Ok, but I'm still coming back as Zombie Cameron. And then Regan can use his cooking prowess to make me some braaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnssss.
ReplyDeleteNice links Regan. The Chad one is awesome, and who doesn't love "Crooked Smile"
ReplyDeleteAye, nice links indeed.
ReplyDeleteHello? The world does revolve around me. This world does anyway, it's my blog. If you don't like it, you can stick it up your Cornhusker. Yes, I did have way too much to drink. Yes, I threw up. Yes, I remember little of that evening. I do remember that you did choose to marry me and for that, I thank you - it's the most action I've gotten all week. Speaking of teenage schoolgirls, who screamed, "I wanna go home now!" like a schoolgirl? Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteWow. You two sure do bicker like a married couple. At least you've got that going for you.
ReplyDeleteHa! Touche' wifey.
ReplyDelete