Anyway, my responsibility from the beginning, was to make the 'down time' in camping fun. It is a lot of pressure, I'll tell you. From entertaining a 2 person campsite to a 4 person campsite, difficult indeed. Also understand that the rules of each game change, considering time of sunlight left, number of campers involved, equipment brought and of course - amount of liquor portaged.
Sport number one, Golf. Golf in camping is pretty intense. Merely typing the word 'golf,' making it connected to camping, is very moving.
There are three types of camping golf. Camping Golf, The Camping Masters and BattleGolf.
Camping Golf is probably the single most important event ever created in Camping Sports and Recreation. I could put a poll up, but I am sure that the comments later would agree. I will try and describe it to lay-people (that's what she said) - but the only way to understand Camping Golf, is to participate...
Camping Golf is simple. Two shooters at the 'target,' another camper. With the addition of another camper, a 'judge.' Shooters try to hit the target with golf wiffle balls and a pitching wedge. Note - the Target cannot move as the wiffle ball is heading towards him, if so, the target must take a straight shot of Captain Morgan. Points are subtracted for hitting the ball in the fire pit or hitting the judge (if 4 players warrant). Warrant? Did you expect a Cherry Pie link? {Get your own link, bitchez! (get your own link, slutz!)} Anyway, the end of each round concludes with shots. Everyone takes a 'social' shot, but the loser of the round takes his own shot. I might add that the shot glasses are normally a 2 oz shot glass, with half Wild Cherry Pepsi and half Captain Morgan. Also, please be present at the shot pouring. If you are picking up your wiffle balls while the shots are being poured - you will not have chosen wisely. Just like you never left your tray at lunch in Junior High, never leave your shot glass if it's being poured by the Sports and Recreation Manager. That means you, Chad!
After a couple of frames, a winner is chosen - of that round. Everyone gets a turn, it is basically a single elimination tournament. I know what you're thinking. That's a lot of rum. Regan, what is the strategy? Really? A strategy? OK, here goes - try to play in the first round and win. Less shots. Then, be the judge (you pour the shots, thus less shots and yours are weaker). Get to the final round and hope that your less drunkeness can afford you a victory and a place on the Stump.
That brings me to the Stump. The Stump is the pinnacle of athletic prowess. If you reach the Stump. You are at a place that fewer the .0000001 percent of the population of the world have EVER been.
Right, the Stump. I believe that most campers have reached the Stump at one point or another. I think that the most important Stump appearance is the last one. Who remembers who was on the Stump two times ago? Right, no one. You remember if you were on the Stump last... The Stump is Lord Stanley's Cup, the Lombardi Trophy, the Larry O'Brian Trophy and the Commissioner's Trophy all rolled up into one. It is the single most important milestone in any athlete's career.
I think this might be enough for this episode. Camping sports is intense and hard to conquer. Next up...the Camping Masters and BattleGolf.
Very entertaining post.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I ever won at Camping Golf. Battle Golf and Battle Golf, yes. Camping Golf? No. I was looking for a famous golfer who never won a tournament, but I then realized I'd never heard of any of them. But yeah, I'm like any of those guys.
Get your own link, bitches. Get your own link slutz!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
@Kilzer - yes, that was VERY hilarious! Probably my favorite Rjunk blog line yet!
ReplyDelete