Is is true?

Anonymous said...


I thought Des Nuts was your nickname in high school. I can't really remember, that was sooo long ago.

Thanks so much for letting me post comments on here.

Til Death Do Us Part,

PPYSM

Salad? Really?

This week, I had lunch with a friend.  Just an everyday lunch, nothing special.  About every 3 weeks or so we decide to have lunch.  It's pretty cool because he works downtown and I normally have a day off during the week.  So when we decide to connect, I have a great early morning.  I get up, take the kids to the bus stop, run some errands and get a ticket on the Light Rail...

Stop.

The Light Rail is a pretty awesome experience for a people watcher.  There are many people to watch on the Light Rail.  Both ends of the spectrum.  There are business professionals and students.  There are rich people and homeless.  There's people who work for the Light Rail and people who bring on their bike for no apparent reason.  Totally worth watching.

Hold on.

I meet up with my friend and we try to determine a place to eat.  Look, the Tilted Kilt is cool - unless you eat there 8 times a year and once in a while you get the pregnant server (not that there is anything wrong with that).  We decide on Earl's - an upscale grill in LoDo.

Wait for it...

Menus come (that's what she said).  We order.  Both of us order SALADS as the side instead of fries.  Salad? Really?

Here it comes...(do I need to say it again?)

Right, salad.  The salad was awesome.  In fact, it was better than the sandwich I had.  My friend even said, and I quote, "If salads at home tasted this good, I would eat it at every meal."  He also said, "This salad is about 1000 calories, I'm sure."

My friend, I say, "Yay," and "Nay!" to your thoughts.  The great salad that we had was not only easy to make and good for you - it was also way below 1000 calories...Below is my recipe for the Earl's Mixed Field Greens Salad with an Apple Cider Vinaigrette:

4 cups of Dole Spring Mix (40)
2 tbsp. of diced or julienned Granny Smith apples (25)
2 tbsp. of feta cheese (60)
2 tbsp. of candied walnuts (95)
2 tbsp. of Apple Cider Vinaigrette (98)

Mix to combine and enjoy.  I guarantee this 318 calorie salad will be something you enjoy.  In fact, you might even be able to run 40 minutes on the treadmill for 'free' calories...

Now that you have read this post, I recommend that you 'right click open in new tab' on all of the links...

Good Luck.

RIP - The Office...

OK.  The Office was funny.  I couldn't wait to watch the next episode - back in the day.  In fact, I actually felt that Michael Scott and I had a cosmic connection.  He was a sad, lonely manager and the coolest place he was - was at work.  (The connection was that we were managers AND cool - that was it.  I promise.  Sad and lonely had nothing to do with it...)

Anyway, along with John Wooden and Ronnie James Dio - The Office is dead.  It just isn't funny anymore.  I try, really I try.  I still watch every episode - hoping, PRAYING, for something to make me laugh out loud. Seriously, I'm not expecting "Eddie Murphy - Delirious" laugh out loud funny; just "Steve Martin - Comedy is not Pretty" funny.  I can't get it - no matter how hard I try.

You know what's funny?  Modern Family.  It's funny.  I tried not to like it because PPYSM likes it, but it's funny.  You know what else is funny?  Shit My Dad Says is funny.  The William Shatner sitcom.  It makes me laugh out loud.

Not Eddie Murphy out loud, just Steve Martin out loud.

Hello?

Look.  I know it has been 10 days since my last blog post.  I have been through a lot lately.

Looks like I need a new roof. ' Aww..,' you might say. .. Hey, do you own a house?  If you don't - then, "C your C."  Don't know what that means?  I dare you to ask me in the comments.  Since Kilzer is the only one that even knows that I blog (because I text him) - I doubt anyone will ask what CyC is.

Look, just my deductible is a grand.  Do you have an extra $1,000 lying (should it be laying? [my mom is a dead English teacher, I should know - right?]) around?  No, of course not. 

Whatever.  My life, now after Party City, isn't so bad. 

At least I don't live at the corner of KITCHEN ("Pretty groovy thanks, and yourself")DICK and WOODCOCK.

Attention C to the A to the M, it only took me 7 minutes to post.

Good night, Bob.

Big Bob Guccione, founder of Penthouse in the mid 60s, died today.  He made a bunch of money selling skin.  Albeit none from the male cameltoe - god know what that is.

Sleep well, Bob.  Many teenage boys, in the 80's, appreciated all of your hard work.

Screw Hefner.  You do good job.

Really?

Just watched 'Atomic Tom' on YouTube.  You might have too - if you are interested in alternative music. 

Here's my problem.  This can't be hard.  I know that 13lack IB can do this type of viral marketing.  It is possible.  It might have a little investment - we need at least 6 iphones and 4 hand held cams - but it can be done. Oh, we will need an airline ticket from Hawaii to Denver...

Anyway, I think that the first RTD single should be 'Spider, please.'

BTW - wouldn't you have stolen their iphones AND their instruments?

Many, many things of import

It has been a while since I have posted anything important.  Today, I will throw some instant thoughts...

Bought Iron Man 2 today. On blu-ray.  Of course.  Watched it - twice.  Great movie.  Can't wait for Cowboys and Aliens.  Or Thor, for that matter.

Quit Party City today.  Pretty big deal.  Worked too many hours, it was crazy.  Thought it was cool...until they 'missed' my payday - today.  Assholes.

Had Christian's second 'secret' football practice today.  'Secret' means adults bring beer to the park.  I have no idea what they mean.

From what I hear, the weather in Mobe was great this week.  Some folks had an opportunity to see the Delicate Arch from some pretty unique angles.

Chiefs are 3-0 going into their bye week.  They have two weeks to get ready for the Larry Bird led Colts.  The only thing I know is that they won't lose this Sunday...Sorry Bronco fans.  I really think that you need to beat the Titans to salvage your season.

Ate lunch today at The Tilted Kilt.  Thanks Mike Bliss.  The steak sandwich was OK, but the view was - how should I say - full.

Still working on the hummus recipe.  I am having a problem because I don't have a food processor - only a 'blend stick.'  Pretty sure that the food processor is an important part of the process - pardon the pun.

Had a mouse in the house (that's what she said!).  Sarah made me put one of those 'let the mouse go in and eat the peanut butter and the you can slide the top off and let the mouse out' traps.  In fact, put out two.  Oops, forgot to check them frequently.  Mousemummy located in the trap behind the art cart.  Note to self, check 'humane' mouse traps more frequently.

I only have about three times a year to impress Kilzer with some unedited Howard Stern.  Thanks Howard for missing the mark - again.

More soon.

Make way for Hummus!

Hummus is an appetizer made from chickpeas (GROSS!) or if you are familiar with the Ponderosa salad bar (That salad is MUSHROOMY!) - chickpeas.

Hummus sounds bad, heck is even...dun, dun, dun! ARABIC!

PPYSM loves hummus, and for that simple fact - along with the fact it is a staple for Al Queda (thanks Homeland Security for linking to my blog!) - it seems gross.

But, 4 friends that read my blog.  Hummus is good.  If you close your eyes, it tastes just like bean dip.  Who doesn't like bean dip?

My goal this week - get a good, simple recipe for 'Bean' dip that everyone will enjoy.

In true Alton Brown fashion (for you Desiree), I will get a cool, delicious 'Bean' dip recipe that even Kilzer could make.

Stay tuned!

Obit Redux

Well, Robert Schimmel died yesterday.  Pretty sad.  He was super funny.  I always thought that if I ever went into stand up, I'd be like Robert Schimmel.  He had a tough life.  Divorced his first wife, got cancer twice, married his daughter's best friend, found out she was cheating on him, had a heart attack, needed a liver transplant, moved back in with his parents, his mom died, then he dies from his injuries from a car crash when his daughter was driving. 

Stupid women drivers.

My New Best Friend

One can say that I have had many Best Friends over the years.  Jonathan Goforth, Jay B. Brown, Mike Stathopoulos, Ed Hancock, Captain Morgan, You Porn - maybe even Mike Kilzer, but you can't be best friends with someone who already has a best friend...  Anyway, I have a new Best Friend - http://www.channelsurfing.net/

I was looking at some posts on the Chiefs website and some people were wondering where to pickup the Chiefs games out of market.  As I am sure you are aware, I had to DVR the Chiefs preseason game against the Buccaneers that the NFL Network showed 3 full days after the actual game.  Anyway, one guy said that he watched games on http://www.channelsurfing.net/. 

It peaked my curiosity, so today I went to the site.  It was OK.  All day I watched looped episodes of The Office - full screen, albeit in VHS quality.

Tonight, I clicked on the Chiefs game and got to watch the full game, with no commercials (they block them out) in full screen, albeit in VHS quality.

Wow, my new Best Friend.  Thanks http://www.channelsurfing.net/!

Oh, BTW, don't click on the girl that "wants to talk to you."  She's not real.

Now that's weird...

So, I'm watching the Chiefs preseason game that I recorded today.  The Chiefs were playing the Bucs.  Josh Freeman is Tampa Bay's QB.  Kilzer might remember Josh Freeman, he committed to Nebraska and then decided to go to K-State instead.  He played 3 years in Manhattan then decided to go pro.  He was drafted #17 overall, last year.

Anyway, I hear the broadcasters say that Josh Freeman was born in Kansas City (Hey, I'm from Kansas City...).  Then they say that he went to Grandview High School (Hey, I went to Grandview High School!).

That's weird, I don't remember a Josh Freeman in high school   Why don't I remember a Josh Freeman in high school?  "Well, John, there aren't any 42 year old quarterbacks in the NFL," you might say.  Oh, really?  Say that in Minnesota, fool.  What you should have said was, "Well, John, there aren't any 42 year old quarterbacks - that were drafted in the 2009 draft." 

Anyway, I was interested, so I did a little research on Josh Freeman.  Yes, indeed, he is from my alma mater, Grandview High School - home of the Bulldogs.  Also, he won the Simone Award for the best high school football player of the year in the Kansas City Area in 2005.

You know who else won the Simone Award? 

Kenyon Rasheed.  In 1987.  He ended up going to Oklahoma.  Played for the Giants for a couple of seasons.

I played against Kenyon Rasheed in little league.   It was in basketball, though. 

I wondered what Kenyon Rasheed is doing now and saw this link.

It's Kenyon Rasheed's birthday today.

Now, that's weird.

The Illinois Railroad

Slowly but surely, this is becoming a political blog.  It wasn't my intention. 

Anyway, you may have heard the story of Impeached Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich. 

In a nutshell, he was the Governor of Illinois when Obama was elected President.  By the rules of the Constitution, when a Senator leaves office in mid-term, the Governor of the state selects the replacement.

During this 'selection process,' Blagojevich is wiretapped by federal agents.  He is recorded trying to find the best deal for a person that wants this coveted Senate seat.

The Feds come out and - you might remember this - hold a press conference that they are going to arrest the Governor.  They were literally yelling during this press conference - calling it “a political corruption crime spree," noting the despicable crimes committed by "Blago."  He was indicted on 24 counts of bribery, extortion and corruption by a public official.

Blago professed his innocence and he went to trial.  The federal goverment spend $30 million dollars on his trial.  Prosecution presented their case for 28 days...the defense presented no witnesses.

Today, after 14 days of deliberation, the jury came back with a verdict - guilty on one count.  Lying to a federal official.

Granted, lying is a bad thing.  You are a bad person if you do it.  Shame on you. 

I don't know, just seems like a raw deal for Blago.  Being from Illinois, that's really all I can expect from its Executive leadership.  The last 4 Governors are either in jail or retired in disgrace.

Pretty sure Cherilyn Peniston or Jeffery Schitter would do a better job anyway.

UPDATE

Didn't take long for The Man to respond.  I guess there was a lot of 'jury deliberation...'  Check it out here.

Primary Day in Colorado - Vote Peniston...and Schitter!

As I was driving to work a couple of weeks ago, amid the myriad of election signs - Maes, McInnis, Buck, Norton (in my lengthy parenthetical statement, I will note that if election signs were legal in Hawai'i, they would read Kilickiame, Wa'u'u'u'u'u, Putate and Chapman ), I saw one lone sign in the parking lot of the Hiccups Tavern at 62nd and Sheridan (the corner of Haiaiah and Ooooooooooooooou, for others) was very simple - Vote Cherilyn Peniston District 35.

Look, whether Cherilyn was born a Peniston or married into the Peniston family - this woman has balls.  Pun intended.  I'm pretty sure that her name is pronounced (penn us tun) rather than (pee nis tun) - whatever the way this lady has overcome initial prejudices to be elected as a member of the Colorado Legislative Unit.  For that reason, I personally endorse Cherilyn Peniston for re-election to the Colorado State Legislature.


After researching this candidate and following the election tonight - I found another candidate in another district that I would like to support...In District 1, I support Libertarian candidate Jeff Schitter.

I am pretty sure that he won't allow this state to go down the toilet.

He's going to wipe up the competition.

He stinks, but the capitol building is stinkier.

He may be full of it, but he knows where it's going.

Any more thoughts for their campaigns?

Mmmm.

My new favorite soda...Diet Cherry Vanilla Pepsi.  It tastes like a heavy red cream soda.  Red Cream Soda brings a lot of memories for me.  I spent many a night - watching TV (not to be confused with Tee Vee), eating Taco flavored Doritos

 (that's another blog) and drinking Red Cream Soda.

If Mike Kilzer liked Red Cream Soda, he'd say it was 'dope.'

Anyway, if you have a chance - pick up a 20 oz. of Diet Cherry Vanilla Pep-suh.

It's dope.

By the way, there is a Taco Dorito Facebook Page- if you're interested...

Camping Tee Vee

When there is nothing to do in camp, there is always Tee Vee.  This last camping trip, there were a couple of cool channels.  There was the HippieDude Channel, the DoucheBag Soccer Channel, the Guess Who's Deaf Channel, the Camping Church Channel and The Who's Going to the Bathroom Channel.

Who doesn't like Camping Tee Vee.

There oughta be a law...

I am not sure if I can quite put the experience into words, but I will try.  My attempt will have many 'breaks.'  Here goes..

At work, I had an opportunity to help a family with invitations for a quinceanera.  The family consisted of the Great Grandma (about 45 years old), the Grandma/Mom (about 30 years old) and the daughter, who was going to celebrate her 15th birthday in September.  Oh, by the way, there was also a double stroller with two kids it it - both in diapers - one belonged to the Grandma/Mom and one belonged to the Soon-To-Be-15-Year-Old.

The G/M asked me to print these invitations.  So, I did.  It takes about 20 minutes to print 30 invitations. 

While I was standing there watching the printer print, 14 year old has an argument with G/M.   She wants to order WEDDING invitations, too.  G/M says, "No, not yet.  Your man isn't in the NBA, yet."

At that point, G/M and Great Grandma have a discussion about the BabyDaddy.  How good he is at basketball, how much child support he is going to be able to give, etc.

Great Grandma was disgusted - as was I.  The discussion gets heated until the Grandma/Mom said,

"Look, Mama, she is just doing what Iverson's wife did.  Marry him young, then get all his money.  My baby is smart!"

Really?  There oughta be a law...

RuDad

I spent my vacation at Scout camps with both of my sons.  Nick at Boy Scout camp and Christian at Cub Scout camp.  Two different places, one across the street from the other.  Last Sunday, I went with Nick to his camp.  The camp was overbooked, so our troop had to bring our own tents.  Of course, I brought my single person, backpacking tent.  It is a really good tent, pretty roomy - but you can't stand up in it.  As always, I packed my clothes in my duffle (sp?) bag - using this bag also as my pillow.  My plan was to pack my clothes for the three days that I was with Nick, drive back home, pick up Christian and go to his camp. 

On the last day at Nick's camp, I woke up that morning and put on my clothes for the day - t-shirt and jeans.  I proceed to change my clothes.  In this tent, you have to lay down to dress - like I said, you can't stand up.  I put on my pants and they were SO TIGHT.  I was pretty mad at myself.  How could I hike 10 miles every day and GAIN WEIGHT?  Oh, God, they were tight.  I left my tent and started to pack my car before everyone woke up.  Very tight, strangulating my bowels, so tight. 

I make it back to camp and have to go to the bathroom.  On the way to the bathroom, I tried to put my keys in my pocket.  My fingers only went down to my second knuckle.  Why were my pockets so small?  Did I gain weight AND grow taller?  I get to the latrine and was mortified...they were women's pants.  Holy buckets, I grabbed my roommate's pants, not my own.

I went down to the lake to meet Nick, struggling to walk every step.

"Nick, can I tell you a secret?"
"What, Dad?"
"I'm wearing your Mom's pants."
"Really?"

After Nick jumped into the lake, he realized that he needed his long sleeved shirt and long pants for his swimming merit badge.  They were going to learn how to make flotation devices for Life Saving.  He forgot them and I volunteered to go back to camp and get them out of his tent.  I grunted and shuffled to camp to get his stuff.  With camp empty of Boy Scouts, I dropped the pants to see the size.  The horrifying results almost made me sick.

"Nick, I have some really bad news about these pants."
"What, Dad?"
"They aren't your Mom's, they're Sarah's."
"Dad, that's not funny."
"I'm not joking."
"Oh, no."

Driving back, I finally get a cell in Elizabeth and I call home.

"Hello."
"I don't know how to explain this, but I am wearing Sarah's pants."
"John, that's not funny."
"I know it's not funny, but it's true."
"You can't tell Sarah."

I knew I couldn't tell Sarah.  How upsetting would it be if, as a teenage girl, you found out that your 40 plus year old, 240 plus pound Dad was wearing your pants?!?  I focused the entire way home...please be asleep when I get home, Sarah, please be asleep...

I walk in the door and who is there to greet me?   My first born, Sarah.  My wonderful, sweet child.  I would never do anything to hurt her.  She is such a great kid - never gets into trouble, great grades, helps out around the house...

"How was the camping trip, Dad?"
"I'M WEARING YOUR PANTS!"

Rare hAir

Hmmm.  Yup, that's right.  Michael Jordan sporting a Hitler mustache.  I can't for the life of me understand why.  EVERYONE knows that's a Hitler mustache.  There's no mistaking it.  Oh sure, he might have been able to get away with calling it a Chaplin mustache - BEFORE HITLER TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! 

Why wouldn't someone at Hanes say, "Uh, Mike, uh, you can't be in our commercial with a Hitler mustache.  It might offend most of the free world."  Maybe no one noticed.  No one noticed his Hitler mustache.  I could be wrong.  Maybe the Hanes guy did try to talk to him.  Maybe he left him a voice mail:

"Uh, Mike, hey, it's Chad from Hanes.  Hey, we were knocking around some ideas about the new commercial we're filming next month.  We're struggling in the southern U.S. markets and north central Europe.  If you have any ideas that might help us gain market share in those areas, we'd be sure to listen.  Your idea adding Charlie Sheen to the previous spots was stellar.  Anyway, let me know if you need anything.  Holla!"

Camping Sports - Episode 3 - Singing Songs to Chad's Stories

Singing Songs to Chad's Stories is a game that started a few years ago.  The basic premise is that there is a group of campers - late at night, watching the fire - bored.  Everyone starts to tell stories, eventually Chad tells a story, generally about Gwen or the Marine Corps Ball.

At this point, it is hard to explain.  But I'll do my best.  Here goes...

Chad: The other night I saw these girls...
Kilzer: Girls, girls, girls!
Chad: Anyway, I was driving my Mazda...
Regan: Whose gonna drive you home?  Tonight...
Chad: OK.  We went around this curve...
Kilzer:  Round and Round, what goes around, comes around, I'll tell you why...
Regan: Weak.  He said 'around', not 'round.'
Chad: Right, it was weak.
Regan: Continue, Chad...

No points, no scores.  Just drunken fun.  Out of all of the Camping Sports, this by far is my favorite.

Camping Sports; Episode One Part 2

The Camping Masters

The Camping Masters is traditionaly played on the last day of camping.  There are at least two players and one Course Manager.  I have assumed the role of Course Manager over the years, mostly because I enjoy making the course as difficult as possible.

Rules are simple - Match Play by hole.  Players must get the ball within a club's length of the hole.  Actually hitting the hole is better than a club length.  Holes can be halved.  Course begins and ends at the firepit.  Chad must be observed at all times, he can't remember his strokes (I bet he did last night, though!).  Winner gets a picture on The Stump.

There are normally many arguments and foul language.  The Kilzer Rule was adopted recently where a player can replace a horribly damaged ball - but only once during the game.

The most famous Camping Masters was actually on the news.  The video is no longer up, but that was a cool day.

Everyone loves the Camping Masters.  The pine beetle infestation in Summit County has put the Masters on hold.  There was a tournament in Deckers last year - it just wasn't the same.  Stupid pine beetles...